Worst Cooks or Best Actors?

You know, when the Food Network debuted "Worst Cooks in America," I was in love with it.  The first season actually had a woman from South Carolina on it.  Unfortunately, she was cut pretty early.  I often wonder about her.  What's she eating?  I remember most of what she concocted all came out of cans.


As we say en France, malheursement, the subsequent seasons have become less believable and substantially more theatrical.  I get that TV has to have some level of theatrics so people will watch.  But, some of the kitschy antics are just downright stupid. The current season is really beginning to infuriate me.  From the first episode, it was evident that all the previews, commercials and then the "worst cooks" introductions were all written and mapped out as supposedly witty scenes. 

Want to know why I'm calling bulls&%t on Food Network?  Let's examine a couple things.  Season One was a truly varied group of regular, average Joes.  Current season? All tatted up, pierced up, primped up weirdos. In Season One, the contestants actually got more and more focused on really learning.  Current season?  Constant bitching, whining and freaking out over everyday stuff like chicken and fish.  And, my personal favorite?  The opening sequence of the current season shows Anne Burrell yelling at the red-headed lady about licking her fingers, but yet, circus freak tattoo artist Amber is allowed to participate in this show with 2" bacterial nails.  I don't think you could locate a chef on this planet who would allow that nastiness in her kitchen.  I don't care if hand me a Big Gulp full of chicken juice, I'd rather slurp it up with a straw than eat anything prepared by that Cruella and her germy claws.

The same is true with Mystery Diners.  I love, love, loved this show when it started.  But now, it's evident that it's nothing but a bunch of stupid scripted theatrics just for the sake of putting something on TV.  Clearly, Food Network has joined the ranks of the other television moguls who think we're all so stupid we can't even be trusted to watch something involving truth and actual reality.  It's pitiful really...Survivor started it all.  Redefining the word "reality" to mean staged, outrageous, fantastical crap.

And, as we all know, Anne Burrell (who I love, btw) was long overdue for a new 'do.' But seriously Anne, #1 fadeup on the sides simply doesn't update the old-hat spiky mess.  Come on girl!

The Juicy Lucy

I love Food Network.  I don't think we go through one single day without watching something on it.  My daughter recognizes chefs by name and just the other night proclaimed who was going to be chopped because his dish wasn't "balanced."  I swear she said that; Neil and I almost fell out!

I think it was Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives where I saw a piece about 2 restaurants in Minneapolis that battle over who serves the Original Juicy Lucy burger.  The Juicy Lucy is a burger with tons of ooey, gooey, American cheese oozing out from the inside of the patty.  Interestingly, Neil lived in the twin cities area for many years and he's never heard of this phenomenon.  Nonetheless, we have been destined to try one.

The J.L. isn't difficult to make, but there are a couple of details that I think are important.  They are as follows:

• REAL CHEESE.  I shouldn't have to put this in all caps, but the American public has been duped by marketing execs for decades.  Kraft Singles are NOT real cheese.  Real the package.  Don't buy anything that is called cheese food, cheese product, cheese thingie.  It should simply say American Cheese.
• Kosher salt and a good, healthy dose of it.  You have to season meat.  Period.  Don't believe me?  Watch Food Network.  You'll see more people get their asses handed to them because they failed to just add some salt to the meat.  
• Technique.  Practice makes perfect.  The key here is to seal the patties together really well so you don't have any cheese rupture toward the end of cooking.  You want all that gooeyness to stay inside where it belongs.
• The right meat.  You can't get a good, juicy hamburger that holds together well from 90/10 meat.  It's gotta have some fat in it to bind it and to flavor it.  If you want to make burgers for dinner, buy the meat that day and cook them fresh.  You'll notice the difference for sure.

Measuring out what we need

Divide into two thin patties, stuff and put back together

Cook 'em up old school in cast iron

Viola!  Final product

So, our Juicy Lucy's were a great success!  The little one gave it her signature "10-thumbs up."  Neil hardly said a word as he was busy devouring his and I've changed out of my jeans and into yoga pants! You know what I'm sayin'. 

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