Super Flop

Turns out the Broncos weren't the only miserable losers Sunday night.  Like most of you, we got together with friends to watch the Big Game.  Our friend Brian made jambalaya, which turned out really well.  Nice and spicy.  Neil made teriyaki wings and they all got eaten. But me?  Oh no.  I made one of the worst party dips in modern history.

Jalapeno Popper Dip

The year's hottest dip...NOT.

 I ripped it out of a magazine because the photo looked nice.  I thought to myself, "Hmmm, Neil and I like jalapeno.  Most everyone likes poppers.  This will be perfect."  Wrong, wrong, wrong. First, when I mixed the ingredients, it all got very yellow and mushy.  In fact, Neil looked at it and thought I'd made egg salad.  Second, the use of mustard was way over the top.  I can appreciate the tang and tartness that the mustard would add. The acid makes sense when you're working with so much cheese, but this was just too much.  Then, the jalapenos that I used had NO HEAT.  So, all I could get from the peppers was almost like that raw bell pepper taste, which I don't happen to like at all.  I added some pickled jalapenos and their juice to try to heat it up, but it just wasn't enough to do the trick.

No one mentioned it, but Neil and I both sat there eating this stuff and I looked at him and said, quite simply, "I hate this."  Fortunately, I don't have many flops come out of my kitchen, but this was one for the books!  If you see this recipe, don't be tempted by the picture.  Just look away and turn your attention to some queso instead.

Cornucopia

I know I go off all the time about how much I love the Brown Box Veggies folks, but here I go again.  I have been jonesin' for my veggies big time after I committed the cardinal sin two weekends ago.  Yes, I admit it.  I ordered a box and <gasp> forgot to go pick it up. To say I was devastated is an understatement the size of Texas. If I must force myself to find a bright side, it's that the Veggie Gals, as they like to call themselves, donate any unclaimed boxes to a charity.  But, dammit, that weekend, I wanted to be my own charity and I forgot.  

So, as you can probably guess, I've been pining away for veggie weekend ever since. I mean, we've been eating <again, gasp> grocery store produce.  But today was the day!  I wasn't going to have a repeat of last time.  I had a reminder and alarm set on my phone, a sticky note on the inside of the front door, and I had a small carrot tattooed on my index finger to remind me.  I even arrived early.

Yowza is all I can say.  When the Veggie Gal handed over the box, it was all I could do to carry that sucker to my car.  It was heavy.  Really heavy.  But I bolstered my strength with the eager anticipation of opening this treasure chest and carried that bad boy to the car. Once home, I cracked it open and it was like that scene when Vincent opens up Marcellus' briefcase.  

The golden light shone upon my face.  

So, getta load of this y'all:

I got squash, zucchini, parsley, Roma tomatoes, onions, over a dozen jalapenos (Neil is in heaven), cabbage, cucumbers, pea pods, peaches, apples, pears, and the largest head of romaine I have ever seen in my life.  Seriously, in the romaine world, you wouldn't want to pick a fight with this big guy. See for yourself.

Perfect lunch box sized pears & apples

Cabbage: the red-headed stepchild of the vegetable world. Undeservedly so. I see eggrolls and stuffed cabbage rolls in our future.

The largest head of romaine I've ever seen

Neil's dietary staple

Uhh, I'm thinkin' salsa? 

This amount of pea pods in the grocery would probably cost half of what I paid for my glorious Brown Box Veggies!

If you know me and my addiction to anything pickled, guess what I'm gonna do with these little cuties?

 Tonight we took advantage of yellow squash, pea pods (snow peas, you may call them) and coconut shrimp. I'm thinking it was a hit since there was NOTHING leftover.  As the cook, that's always a good sign. As a hater of leftovers, that's always a good sign! 

Ok, I realize I'm repeating myself, but if you haven't ordered from Brown Box Veggies before, get online RIGHT NOW! It's a killer deal, it's local produce and it is simply a joy to open that box and see what surprises you'll find inside. Oh, by the way, I was just jerking your chain about that carrot tattoo.  I doubt that even Peter Cottontail would pay money for that!  :-)

That's my kinda sandwich!

I can be a VERY picky sandwich consumer.  In fact, I didn't actually eat a real sandwich until I was about 12 or 13.  I mean, I'd eat peanut butter & honey or peanut butter & banana sandwiches, but nothing with meat, cheese, lettuce, etc. I can't even begin to tell you why.  But I can tell you it was in Charleston. My family was there for a weekend.  We were staying in a hotel and one day, mom and dad bought all kinds of cool sandwich fixin's, fresh bread and set up a spread in our room.  That's when I took the sandwich plunge.  I've been a regular member of society ever since.

I realize this is not a shrimp sandwich, by the way.

However, I am still particular. I don't like peanut butter and jelly.  I can't stand the thought of any sandwich on white bread.  No soft sandwiches either...I hate biting into non-toasted bread and instantly having a bread denture wedged into my hard palate.  It's like it gets glued up there.  Ick to the Ick'd degree.  And, don't even get me started on the evils of baloney.

Anyway you guys already know how quirky I can be, so I really don't need to go on.  So, let's move on to the point, shall we?

Today I made myself my kind of sandwich. I have some "popcorn shrimp" in my freezer.  [BACK STORY: At parties, I have a tendancy to start conversations with the caterers.  Often, I end up with leftovers to bring home, or if it's a lot, we donate it to the shelters.  This shrimp was from a recent party.]  So, I crisped the shrimp up in the oven, with a little spritz of "Pam."  Then, I mixed up some mayo, Dijon mustard and chopped jalapeno.  Result?  Crispy shrimp, spicy mayo on (lightly) toasted wheat bread and shredded romaine.  Happy tummy with a little warm burn!  And practically no work for me at all!