Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Ain't No Kodachrome Around Here!

Simon and Garfunkel once grooved us all to this concept, I guess that was hailing the advent of color photography?  I know, I know.  Anyone older than me is either A) shaking their head that I'm right but didn't know it, or B) I'm wrong and they think I'm stupid because I don't know what the hell the song is about. It could go either way I suppose.

My musings will be short and sweet today friends.  My mom had a total knee replacement last Monday. She's now at a rehab facility for (duh) rehab (on the knee).  Here's what I want to convey today.  All medical and step-down medical facilities have completely abandoned the idea of serving patients good, healthy, well-balanced meals while in their care. Oh, no.  Today, everyone receives a "low-sodium", "low-fat", and "Diabetic" menu card.  I bet you that if I checked my (perfectly healthy) 7 year old into the hospital today for, oh let's say, a nose job (a non-medical problem), they'd serve the poor child this same dribble.  EVERY single meal that my mom has been served has been MONOCHROME. 

Now, I admit, I am no culinary school graduate, but somewhere in my life it was imparted to me that a plate must have balance. To me, balance is usually achieved by properly coordinating a green vegetable amongst the proteins and starches/legumes, etc.  Oh wait, I forgot.  She did get a dome-shaped mound of spinach the other day that was as green as Hawkeye Pierce's uniform.  

So, as warned by Romeo Void, I must remind myself to NVR say NVR. 

My mission here is to say that just because someone is hospitalized should not mean that they are fed worse than prisoners in our fine correctional system.  I'd love to know how much waste goes on in hospitals (if anyone bothers to track it) because I can tell you what was being passed off as French onion soup went promptly in the trash in my mom's room.  There's no amount of Mrs. Dash that can fix a bowl of dish water with onion flakes floating in it.

Medical facilities take note: Pipe some Simon and Garfunkel into the kitchens, buy the cooks some daggum vegetables with some color (and gasp! maybe even fresh ones) and let them cook them properly.  Hell, every time we go to the hospital, we're warned about how we might not wake up, survive the surgery or die from complications.  I'm thinking it's not because of the surgeons but the food service department. 

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