Thursday, December 23, 2010

The Great Mixed Nut Deception

In America, we have certain ideals that make us who we are.  We believe in freedom of speech, the golden rule, truth in advertising.  At least that's the idea.

Here's the nut industry's little white lie.  Those cans that say "Less than 50% peanuts" are a sham.  Ok, it's true that 49.9999% is less than 50%.  But it's an insult to our intelligence.  It's a crime to defraud the nut lovers of the world in such a sleezy way, using a mere technicality.  Just decreasing peanuts by a "smidge" doesn't cut it!  We want mixed nuts dammit!  And, when we pay sometimes astronomical prices for them, it's because we're craving some really good mixed nuts!  If we wanted a big can of peanuts, we would have bought the one that says "Peanuts" on it.  You see?  See how this works, nut makin' people?  If I could grow my own cashews, I'd do it in a heartbeat.  But, I can't, so I have to look to you people to supply.  Jerks.  

I'm hungry.

1 comment:

  1. Even my kids avoid the peanuts from the mixed nuts! I do admit that I pay even more to get the mixes that don't have peanuts at all.

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