Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Modesto is a No-Go

The Vivver and I took a couple of days to visit my little sis in Asheville. Ok, here's a confession...I took my mom up on her offer to borrow her Honda Odyssey (that's a mini-van, for those of you who don't know.) Yes, I did it. Know why? It has the super duper ultra DVD system. Anyway, it does make for a much more pleasant trip for a 4 year old.

So, upon arrival yesterday, Katherine & her husband Darren and we decided to head out for some lunch. Since the weather was perfect, we clearly needed somewhere with outdoor dining. Enter MODESTO.

Now, let me be clear. The menu is really cool, different and creative. We ordered a quattro formaggio panini, lamb panini and an apple, pecan, chicken and taleggio pizza. The food was wonderful. I'd visit this restaurant again....depending on who's working...

Our waiter really needs to re-think his line of work. First of all, although Katherine is the only one out of all of us who saw it, apparently, every time he walked up to our table, he had a seriously runny nose which he then sucked up in order to talk to us. Tending to a 4-year old, I was rarely looking up at the guy. Then, I asked if they had a kid drink such as lemonade. He responded "yeah, but we make it from scratch (wrinkles nose) and most kids think it's 'too lemony'." Ok, do you have orange juice that is universally acceptable? Fine. Then, after perusing a very adult, involved and borderline ridiculously expensive lunch menu I asked Snotty, "Can you make a simple grilled cheese for her?" Here's the response: "Well, our chef is pretty particular and I don't want to annoy him." Ok, sure...he can decide what we're going to have, based on his whim and mood, and I'll happily let his arrogant ass pick up the tab.

Then, Slurpy suggests that I order the $8 Quattro Formaggio panini for Vivian. "Yes," I say, "That is in fact a grilled cheese, isn't it?" So, I told doofus to bring it. It came with "homemade chips" which were so overcooked that even a kid rejected them. The side car of tomato soup was good, but since they sent it out to (again, to a four year old child) with a spoon that you'd use in a serving bowl of mashed potatoes, she had difficulty appreciating it. I'm sorry...you don't have to have kids to know that a child can't cram a serving spoon into her/his mouth.

As I said earlier, the food was quite good, but the service sucked tail pipe. For those of you who know me personally, I will pay for good food, but I will become enraged by crummy service. Slurpy, as I like to call him, was pleasant enough, but was a POS waiter. I asked him for Splenda; had to get it from another guy who I caught passing by later. Asked for to-go boxes, took about 10 minutes for that to materialize. And, then getting the bill. Let me tell ya...nothing agitates me more than having to wait for a bill in the first place and then having to wait to PAY it. Don't leave me sitting there trying to desperately pay and get the hell outta here, while you wander around doing who knows what? This guy was so non-present on the floor, I can't even imagine what he was up to. I guess sucking up to the temperamental chef so he wouldn't piss him off. Don't worry about the people out front who are going to (or not) tip you, Drippy.

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